I Promise You:  Your Heart Will Speak Beautiful, Magical Things to You.

A Message to the Graduates of 2016

You are precious and beautiful. There is no one on earth like you.  I know what you are going to say.  From where you are  now, you may not be able to fully believe me.  We live in a complicated and loud world.  It will try to tell you who you should be and it will make you feel that who you are is not nearly enough.  Never have these voices been louder, more confusing or more demanding on young people than they are now, and it's just not right.    

You need - you deserve -reinforcements to emphatically tell you that these external messages are false and should not define you.

And if you’ve ingested them and believe them, it is also not your fault.  We all have.  Most of the time adults who would genuinely want to help you to understand this are held back from doing so because they are too busy and distracted trying to deal with their own insecurities.  They may not realize you are struggling with the same questions they have about themselves every day. 

So I ask you to listen to me, because I see you.  I notice the struggle. I feel it as my own.   I am a woman who has walked where you walk now, with the same kinds of hopes, dreams, insecurities, pressures and worries and a lifetime ahead yet to be shaped.

I can tell you that any time I’ve spent conforming to someone else’s idea of who I should be ended up being a waste of time.  It doesn’t matter if the message is coming from someone who loves you, or if it is someone in the media in a position of authority who you assume knows better than you.

 No one knows better than you about this particular topic:  you.  No one is in a better position to know what wonders you contain.  

And in many ways, since you have not yet been buried in the routines of adult life, you are actually in a position of more clarity to notice what is wrong with this world.  And I tell you there is a lot that is not as it should be.   

Your truth about that is a gift to us all. Speaking up about it does not mean you are weak or whiny.  It means you are brave.  It means you are a truth teller.  And the world needs more truth tellers. That is why I am committed to being one right now.  For you. We can be truth tellers together. 

You may not realize it, but it is so easy to skip the step of really getting to know yourself  at this time in your life.  And by getting to know yourself I don’t mean your exterior image - but what really moves you and lights you up from deep inside.  Believe me, because I know:  before you know it, you are an adult consumed with paying the bills, proving yourself, and focused on taking care of the next generation.   It will be harder and harder to find yourself if you haven’t already started to look when you were young. There are a lot of adults walking around who long ago lost the spark of who they really are. They think they are roles.  They think they are achievements.  They think they are the stuff they own. But I can tell you that none of these things are who we are. And it's a good thing, because all these things are fleeting and subject to change at any moment.  Only "who we are" is completely in our control.  Only "who we are" lasts a lifetime.   And because roles, achievements and stuff  are not who we actually are, they can never succeed in making us permanently happy and secure with ourselves.   

So my advice to you is this:  give yourself the permission to get to know what makes you happy and alive now.  Instead of focusing on all the things that aren’t perfect in your life, or all the ways that you may think YOU are not perfect, cultivate a space where you can dream your own dreams without editing of any kind.  You see, I've learned that the most important relationship you can ever cultivate is a relationship with yourself.    The most important life habit you can ever develop is to be able to listen to your heart, then to boldly claim the truth you find as real, valid and important. Because it is real, valid and important.  

And I do mean this quite literally.  Listen.  Focus on that place in your chest where your heart is.  Just linger and listen.  Some people hear these messages more clearly through art, music, movement or journaling.  Walking or sitting quietly in nature is also a way to deepen your heart-listening. You may have to listen for a long time before you hear anything.  But listen.

I promise you, if you do any of these things enough, your heart will speak beautiful, magical things to you.  It will remind you who you really are.  It will fill you up with an endless well of aliveness and connection, and you will suddenly realize that everything you’ve been told about the scarcity of love and acceptance isn’t true.

  

You do not have to earn love.  

You can never lose it. 

It doesn’t come from outside of you.  

Because you ARE love. You can source what you need directly from within; 

by respecting yourself, 

by following your hunches, 

by discovering what you really love to do, 

by saying “no” to anything that does not feel good or right to you.

You've never been a label, a dress size, an accomplishment, a race, a gender, a body, a socioeconomic class, an IQ.  You are far more precious and unique than any label or category could ever portray.  While some people may make you believe you need to be this or that, the much bigger calling is what the universe needed – and intended – you to be. And only you can really know that, from within.  

I’ve learned that the universe is an unfathomably intelligent system, and nothing is created that was not in some cosmic way called forth by some existing need.  YOU were called forth. And that is no accident.  

That is no small thing. 

You matter. 

You were needed.   

Can you feel the monumental pull of that? 

If you are the answer, what was the universe’s question? Now, this is a question worth a lifetime of inquiry. This is a question that gets you somewhere in life.

Every person you touch with your presence is forever changed by you, and this is true worth. This is true power.  This is true meaning and purpose. And this is why you being you is so important to me.  Because if you somehow miss expressing the core of who you are, what makes you come alive, neither I nor anyone else will have the benefit of 

your light, 

your joy, 

your unique expression.    

So your task is actually quite simple.  Be fully you.  And if you think about it, trying to be anybody else for any reason will never lead to showing you how lovable you really are, because you will never really know if people are in love with you or in love with some false image of you that you have created.  Do you see how the pretend self actually creates separation between you and the love you seek; separation between you and YOU? 

I can only tell you that my life didn’t come fully alive until I dared to claim my authentic self, until I believed I was enough to deserve the life I’d dreamed of.  When I chose to align with me, a path of grace and ease unfolded, and I’ve been on it ever since.  

And just in case you think this is selfish,  I want to tell you that love for your authentic self can’t help but spread love out in every direction to others.  Loving oneself isn't narcissism.  It's an investment in the future, not just in your own future, but in the future of people you haven’t yet met or may never directly meet.  This is because Love is a chain reaction, one whose starting point is in each and every one of us. And magical things happen when love is at the center. 

I’ve come to learn that love is a form of activism.  It transforms.  It liberates.  And this is how we co-create the kind of world we really want to live in:  by loving our authentic selves well.   Like the dynamic, evolving universe we live in, we are always evolving and creating something never seen before, something beautiful and magical and one of a kind. Please don’t miss discovering your one of a kind story.  Don’t miss telling your one of a kind story.  Please, dare to be you.

I want you to experience the profound sense of peace, harmony and happiness available to you in this precious life of yours.  You do not need to re-live the "never good enough" messages you’ve ingested in the past by ingesting them in the present or future. We can break the chain of “never enoughness” and set ourselves free forever.    

May you always know that

you were born enough

you have always been enough.

you always will be enough.

May your dream for your life be the one and only map you follow. 

May you know you are none other than 

love, sweet love 

discovering 

itself.

A perfect answer to the universe’s great need.

           

Laurie McCammon is the author of Enough!  How to Liberate Yourself and Remake the World with Just One Word (Conari Press - April 1, 2016) and host of The Enough Message blog on Blogspot.  You can connect with Laurie by leaving your comments below or by liking and following her on Facebook at "Laurie McCammon author"  and Twitter @EnoughMessage  Her website is:  http://www.lauriemccammon.com